Monday, September 5, 2011

I Need Some Advice.. #pottytraining

     So many of you know my ups and downs with Jayden and the whole potty training.  He is still taking the stool softener that the doctor prescribed for him.  It is helping him to go about twice a day now.  He tells me, "mama it doesn't hurt to go poo poo anymore."  Which is wonderful!!  My problem is that he still refuses to go on a potty.  He still pees on the potty with no problem.  It doesn't matter if he has on a diaper or underwear he will tell me he has to go pee and use the toilet.  He will tell me that he has to go poop, but refuses to even try and sit on the potty.  He wants to stand either in his room or a different room.  This happens at the sitters house too.  He will go in her back room and go in his diaper, after of course he announces that is his plan.  He doesn't hide it from us.

    I started thinking that we should start putting him in regular underwear again.  So we have started that again.  He wants the underwear so that is no problem.  And he has not problem with the pee, but when he needs to poop he wants to either go in his underwear or a diaper.  He feels the need to tell us and ask, "can I go poo poo in here?"  We always encourage him to try going on the potty.  We have tried to offer incentives.. shoot we offered him money!!  Oh Yes we did!  He is loving his piggy bank lately and wants to put money in it all the time so we tell him he can have more money for his piggy bank if he goes on the potty.. He doesn't really care.  Stickers mean nothing.. even M&M's are not a big pull or the ability to play with my blackberry and watch videos.

     I tell him he can not go in his underwear that he needs to sit on the potty like a big boy or wear a baby diaper.  He ALWAYS picks the baby diaper.  So if I don't want to clean up the underwear I have to put on a diaper, and yes we have let him go in the underwear before and it doesn't bother him.  I am getting really frustrated.  I know that if he just sits and tries it a couple times he will know its not that bad and be fine.  Now I also know that he will not go to college wearing a diaper, but it is frustrating that he is SO smart and yet not potty trained at 3!

     I was thinking today that maybe we could find him a special toy that he can play with ONLY when he is sitting on his potty.  I am not sure what that will look like, but possibly a learning laptop or something.  He already has the vtech mobigo and the vreader so those are not a big pull for him because he plays with them all the time.  He loves them don't get me wrong, but he can refuse knowing its available later and I don't think its fair to take away his toys that he already has.  What have you done to get your reluctant child to just sit on the potty and try?  The few times I did get him to sit he will stay and read books or play mobigo until he feels it about to come and then he jumps up and requests a diaper.  I did try having him sit with the diaper on just so he is on the potty when he goes, but he won't stay.  Once I put him on the potty as he was in the process of going and some fell on the floor and some went in the potty.  I made a big deal out of him being such a big boy for using the potty (even though he technically didn't).  He was very excited, but the next time he refused again to try.

     So any of you have this problem?  What have you done?  What works?  And what do you suggest as a potty time toy if any?  I know I am full of questions, but I am just frustrated that I know my little man is super smart and he can tell you all about where potty goes and why, but he still will not sit and go. 


  1. So what finally worked for us was to take his undies off completely and just let him go naked. He would go all the time in his undies (like 2x a day for 6 months) and finally I tried letting him go naked. I was worried that he would go on the floor but he didn't. We recently had a relapse while we were on vacation visiting my family and we took his undies off again for a few days and it worked. Good luck!
    Believe me, I know how frustrating it is!

  2. My daughter had the same problems with potty training with her last child and I bought a really set online, a book all about being a big boy and going potty on the toilet and it came with a doll. I believe it was called the Potty Book and you could choose for either a boy or a girl. We would read the book to him while on the potty and he would play with the doll, who is part of the story. If he stayed for several minutes without attempting to get up, he would get a treat reward and encouragement. If he had a success, he would get a very special treat and we made a really big deal out of it. He really loved Spongebob, so we bought him some big boy underwear with Spongebob on them and he was told that he could only have them when he used the potty like a big kid. We left the Spongebob under shorts where he could see them everytime that he sat on the potty. It took awhile, I have always been told that boys are harder to potty train than girls and I now believe it, but after all the frustration and worry that he would never be potty trained, he suddenly decided that he wanted to be a big boy and we began having success. He would forget sometimes to tell us when he had to go and would have an accident, but if we reminded him or put him on the potty regularly, he would do very well. We started letting him wear the Spongebob underwear and he was so proud to not be wearing a diaper. He became fixated on his poop and everytime he pooped in the potty, everyone had to come and see it. I got a kick out of that. He is now completely potty trained and lets us know when he has to go potty and only has an occasional accident during the night when he is sleeping soundly. Good luck on your efforts. I think you just have to find what works for you and use a lot of patience.

  3. Ok so maybe I'm a mean mom but in your situation I would simply make my child go. If he's telling you he's going to he obviously understands so show him your mom, pick him up and put him on the potty and help him stay there until he goes (we sing songs with our boys to distract them). I bet you don't have to force it very long before he decides to do it on his own. Good luck!

    PS. We did the naked method too and it worked great!

  4. I've had kiddos like that too. Nakey-bottom really helped. (Put your son in a longish t-shirt if you'd like him to show some modesty.) This was stressful though for some of my kids since some of them knew when they had to go poop but since they weren't wearing a 'catcher' and they didn't want to sit on the toilet or the potty they felt stressed.

    If you have a potty chair, will your son sit on it in an unusual place such as in front of the TV or in the random room he wants to go off to to do his pooping?

  5. Have you tried the toilet? Maybe sitting on a potty to poop feels weird for him. Sitting on the bigger toilet might feel much better. You can use a children's seat to make the toilet sit more comfortable for a child.

  6. Everything is different for each child. What worked for my daughter didn't necessarily work for my son. It just depends on your child.

    With my son (still working on the nighttime & nap part), he works in steps. Like don't expect him to go potty during the day, go potty at night and not poop his pants. It was one step at a time and it seems like forever in each step. It took forever (or it seemed that way) to learn to use the potty, then when that was done, he naturally went to not peeing in the pants during the day. Then we had a huge thing with poop. He would just poop his pants and then pee in the potty. I am a mean Mom and refused to put pull-ups/baby diapers on him for pooping. Yes, I may be cleaning poop out of underwear, but it helped that I did that with his cloth diapers as a baby. I try not to rely on Pull ups, as they say that it may hinder the process. And they need to learn what's happening. And when he pooped in his pants, he'd get in trouble. When he pooped in the potty, he'd get praised & a jellybean...sometimes we'd even give 2-3 jellybeans. NOW, I need advice for nightime training.